- An Over-Hyped book: Let’s start this off with a Zombie Apocalypse! Let’s say you’re in a bookstore, just browsing, when BAM! ZOMBIE ATTACK. An announcement comes over the PA System saying that the military has discovered that the zombies’ only weakness is over-hyped books. What book that everyone else says is amazing but you really hated do you start chucking at the zombies knowing that it will count as an over-hyped book and successfully wipe them out?
This one was a little hard for me because I really try to stay away from over-hyped books. If I see everyone talking about a specific book or series I immediately slam the brakes on it because the hype train is a powerful thing and you cannot always trust it. So a book that I hated, but everyone else loved is hard for me to pick. Aside from Twilight that is, and I will not use that cop-out, goddammit!
If I can choose one that I kind of liked, but everyone else seemed to love, it would probably have to be John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars. Look, it is a good book and it made me cry, but it is not this revolutionary piece of literature that people claim it to be. It is a love story involving cancer, those are a dime a dozen, and I am sure that there are some that are actually written by cancer survivors, who has a much greater insight into what it is like to be terminally ill. Again I like it, it is okay, but it is not a pillar in western literature or a ground-breaking work.
- A Sequel: Let’s say you’ve just left the salon with a SMASHING new haircut and BOOM: Torrential downpour. What sequel are you willing to use as an umbrella to protect yourself?
I have to go with Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor, the last book in the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy. The two previous books were so good and building up to this amazing finale and it just withered with this one. The end to the entire conflict in the series was anti-climactic and it decided to introduce new stuff and problems by the beginning only to have them resolved so easily by the end. Also, it decided to do the “welp, these two characters are of opposite genders, better pair them together now that everything is ending” with two characters who had only just met by the third book and had no previous chemistry and it actually made groan loudly.
- A Classic: Let’s say you’re in a lecture and your English teacher is going on and on about how this classic changed the world, how it revolutionised literature and you get so sick of it that you chuck the classic right at his face because you know what? This classic is stupid and it’s worth detention just to show everyone how you feel! What Classic did you chuck?
I am tempted to say Ulysses by James Joyce, but while I do not like that one and think it is basically just Joyce being self-masturbatory, I do agree that it had a big influence on literature and I will spare it for that. So for the over-rated classic, I will go with… Don Quixote by Cervantes. Why? Because I am sick and tired of hearing about how it is the first REAL novel when Cervantes was beaten six centuries earlier by Lady Murasaki and her work Tale of Genji. After 10 pages of Genji, I was already more enthralled than I was at any point while reading Don Quixote. Literary history has a tendency to be very Eurocentric, white and male, and that is exactly what I want to fight against when it is so clearly false.
- Your least favourite book of life!: Let’s say that you’re hanging out at the library when BAM global warming explodes and the world outside becomes a frozen wasteland. You’re trapped and your only chance for survival is to burn a book. What is the book you first run to, your least favourite book of all life, what book do you not fully regret lighting?
Say it with me, children: Telemachus by Francoise Fenelon. I think I have stated my reasons for hating this book clearly in previous posts so I will not bore you with any more of that.